Lions and leopards
by sarakirai
Summary: They go out to celebrate their graduation, all of them. Nozaki opens his mouth, and an extremely frivolous conversation ensues. (aka dumb crack that i will not apologize for)


**Lions and leopards**

They go out to celebrate their graduation, all of them.

For the last time, they change out of their high school uniforms, confining them to closets where they'll languish in the company of mothballs, and other forgotten pieces of past phases of life. There isn't any time for reminiscing right now, though, so they quickly slip into casual clothes and charge back out of doors, steps hastening toward the café.

Where they meet.

They look a motley crew, that's for sure. There's Nozaki, tall and solid and impassive as ever, but face still bearing tear streaks from the thought of what graduating from high school will mean for the future of his manga protagonists, though Sakura would like to believe it's because he'll miss their company.

Mikorin and his red hair stand out as always, even as he tries to slouch unobtrusively on a nearby park bench, fine features overlaid with a typical flush. Kashima is his energetic twin of sorts, animatedly absorbed in conversation with someone on the phone (Hori, in all likelihood), the dark teal of her hair picking up the light as she gestures.

Then there's Yuzuki, wearing something decent for once, probably coaxed into the capris and tastefully printed tee by Wakamatsu, though she retains her ratty sneakers. They add a nice touch to the look, somehow, though it's ruined by the fact that she's picking on Wakamatsu again – she's currently insisting that she be allowed to comb through his hair for lice, all while holding him in a headlock.

Sakura smiles, because how could she not?

Going to college is definitely a milestone to be proud of, but she'll miss her friends, all the warmth and hilarity and colour and spark they bring to her life.

They shuffle into the little establishment and drape themselves attractively across the furniture; Nozaki's the first to speak after they've placed their orders, addressing the entire group. As usual, it's a completely unexpected non sequitur from him, dredged up from the depths of his manga-obsessed mind.

"You know," he casually observes, scanning them all in turn, "all of you remind me of animals right now. It's cute."

No one knows what to say at that point, so they stare back. Unfazed by the dead silence, Nozaki takes a leisurely sip of his water and continues. "Like, when shoujo manga characters have spirit animals or something. There's this interesting vibe I'm getting from all of you."

As usual, Wakamatsu bites at the mention of shoujo manga, and he leans forward earnestly to ask, "Nozaki-senpai, what animal am I?"

"A dog," is the very brusque answer he receives, and his face crumples a little. Seo laughs at his expression and doles out her own special brand of comfort, inevitably mixed in with an insult for her favourite kouhai.

"Dogs are cute, Waka," she blithely remarks, slinging an arm around his shoulders in some semblance of a hug. "I'd love to have you as a dog, okay?"

The _"he already is" _hangs unspoken in the air over everyone else's heads. Nozaki moves on.

He has a little trouble pinpointing what Seo brings to mind, because it has to be a creature that gives off an air at once cocky, oblivious, capable, yet self-centred to an extraordinary degree. He settles on a rooster. Cue general snorts of laughter and incredulity.

"Roosters can't sing, though," Kashima notes, frowning, shouldn't that be me instead, then?"

"Nope, but they can crow," is Nozaki's immediate rejoinder. "Besides, there's no need for you to worry," he continues dismissively. "You're a peacock. Peacocks can't sing at all."

Seo doubles over immediately in unrestrained cackles, even before he's finished his sentence – while Sakura and Mikoshiba cave and join in soon after, desperately wiping the tears of mirth from their eyes and pounding repeatedly on the table. Kashima pouts and turns to the window, muttering about Hori-senpai, when the man himself shows up.

Immediately, Kashima seizes his arm in a vice-like grip and pulls down so his face is hovering close to hers. "Hori-chan-senpai," she says in a low, intent voice, shaking him a little and staring into his eyes. "Nozaki says I'm like a _peacock_. Am I really?"

"Yes, really," Hori replies, smirking a little when Kashima feints a dramatic swoon, still latched onto his arm like a limpet. "Hey, Nozaki," he turns, trying to rather half-heartedly to shake her off. "What am I?"

"An – eagle…?" Nozaki hedges. Hori shrugs, satisfied. Kashima pouts more. Mikoshiba and Sakura both edge forward on their seats in anticipation, seeing as they're the only ones left who Nozaki hasn't designated an animal to, yet. He's clearly putting a lot of thought into this, and Sakura allows herself to feel flattered for a moment – until Nozaki opens his mouth to speak, to be specific.

"Sakura is a lion," he declares almost triumphantly, letting that sink in for a while before tacking on the words, "and Mikoshiba is a lamb."

"_Lion? Lamb?"_ they all chorus in unison. Nozaki leans back in his seat, nodding sagely (which is infuriating and obnoxious, but they have more pressing concerns right now).

"T-take th-that back!" Mikoshiba demands, flustered and distressed. He's actually wringing his hands, Sakura notices, even as she mulls over what exactly could have convinced Nozaki that she is best exemplified by a lion. "I mean, I know I get embarrassed a lot, b-but that doesn't make me a – a _lamb_. You know?"

"Alright," Nozaki concedes (surprise, surprise), "then a leopard."

"But why's Chiyo-chan a lion?" Seo butts in, now that Mikorin is mollified a little and recovering from his searing flush.

"Yeah," Kashima says, "she doesn't look the part. She's wearing polka dots; shouldn't she be the leopard instead?"

"Oh," now it's Wakamatsu, "you're right, huh. Mikoshiba-senpai looks more like a lion."

At that, Mikoshiba and Sakura both angle their heads downward and scrutinise their clothing. Mint green t-shirt with white polka dotting, tucked into a long black skirt for her. Black short-sleeved button down shirt over khaki trousers for him. Polka-dotted hair ribbons on vermillion tresses. Dusky red hair to match with dusky pink cheeks.

_Huh_.

Strange – but strangely accurate, somehow. They raise their eyes, lock them once, and then avert them. Damn.

According to the internet search that they do on the spot, lions are "the only social member of the cat family", living as they do in prides. It's unusually social behaviour for a cat, to live in a tight-knit group with others and show affection, to create some sort of family structure. It suits Sakura, doesn't it, with her bubbling warmth and good cheer spilling over whenever she's around them (if that isn't social, what is?).

It's quite the contrary for Mikoshiba. "Solitary and territorial," Nozaki reads off the website. No one refutes him, of course, because when they think about it carefully Mikoshiba really could be described by those words; he's spent most of his life alone in his room interacting with two-dimensional girls (solitary), and he's extremely concerned about protecting the personal space of his bishoujo figurine collection from outsiders (territorial).

And there they have it.

Lions and leopards, though? It doesn't seem like those two creatures would get along in the slightest, one being a loner and the other relying on the camaraderie a group offers. Still, they aren't actually felines, they're people. This could – no, actually, it already works. Because aren't they friends after all?

Sakura smiles wryly. "Hey, _Mikorin_," she prods. "You have the hair of a lion, you know. But not the heart; it's such a shame."

Mikoshiba snorts and draws himself up with regally offended air. "You're one to talk, _Chiyorin_. You're a leopard that can change its spots. How can I ever trust your words?"

"Now, now," Nozaki interjects, cooing like a mother hen at her pettily squabbling young. "Food's here, eat up."

It's with great good humour that they stick their tongues out at him in unison.

They separate after leaving the café, all of them.

Not for the first time, they all drift into clusters and part ways: Yuzuki is dragging Wakamatsu to the planetarium so they can cheer him up a little by locating all the dog constellations – Canis Major and Canis Minor, the hunting dogs of Orion; Hori has a rehearsal to get to and Kashima's tagging along; the trio of herself, Mikorin and Nozaki are left standing by the station entrance, waving at retreating backs.

As they turn to enter the station together, Nozaki looks over his shoulder at them and tosses out one last line to remember for today.

"You know," he remarks, pushing through the gantry after scanning his pass, "the Greeks believed that lions could mate only with leopards."

Sakura and Mikorin freeze up and slowly swivel to glance at each other – they're both sporting a deep, deep, blush; deeper than the Mariana trench, deeper than the deepest point on earth. They stand rooted to the spot in abject mortification, only awkwardly gathering their wits and scurrying away when the people queuing behind start yelling at them not to block the entrance.

_Lions and leopards_, they think, on the way home.

_Lions and leopards_.

Nozaki, please.

**A/N:**

Trashy crack fic! First one I've written in some time. Inspired by the sentence below, because I was just reading some website about Greek mythology and then I got attacked by plot bunnies out of nowhere…though there isn't much plot here OTL

"_This was regarded by the Greeks as particularly poetic as they believed that lions could mate only with leopards."_

I don't know what I was thinking, mannnnnnnnnnn

Disclaimer: I do not own Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun, all characters belong to Tsubaki Izumi-sensei.


End file.
